Sometimes You Can’t Do it Alone – Making the Decision to Seek Therapy

Last week I began seeing a therapist. 

 I’ve seen a therapist a few times in my life.  The first time was when I found myself drawn to a bad relationship, despite the fact that I was not happy in it. 

 Unfortunately I ended up marrying the guy.

 During the course of our sixteen year marriage my ex husband and I saw quite a few therapists, beginning with the priest at my church.

 I was Catholic and my ex was Jewish and I think my ex thought that the priest would “side” with him and basically tell me to “shut up and put up.”

 Actually the priest told me privately that my then-husband was a “manipulative, self-serving bastard.”

 We went on to see four or five therapists in the course of our relationship, finally putting an end to things in 2004.

 I’ve been feeling rather “end’s wit” as my youngest daughter would put it lately and have thought a lot about seeing a therapist again.  About six weeks ago I learned about a program offered through the Philadelphia Association of Clinical Psychologists where they work with you in locating a pro-bono therapist (I have no insurance).

 I was nervous at my first appointment last week.  What if I didn’t like him?  What if he was one of those therapists who wanted to rehash every moment of your childhood?  Since I was getting the service basically for free, it would be hard to “shop around” if I didn’t like him …

 I need a fairly quick fix.

 It was a relief to find that I like my therapist.  Even more of a relief to find that he doesn’t seem to find my current paralyzed state terribly unusual or difficult to overcome.

 He’s been setting me on a path to more consistent daily habits (big surprise!) and achievable outcomes.

 In fact, he’s been pointing me in the same direction that I knew I needed to go in the first place!  But it helps to have someone accountable.

 And so I trudge along to fulfillment.