Everything I Ever Needed to Know I Learned on Google

Tonight I spent a rather exhausting three hours with my sixteen year old daughter, Abbey.

Abbey spent the weekend at Cape May and somehow her Blackberry became submerged in the ocean. Of course, instead of telling me about it, she calls her sister. Her sister informs her that her cell phone has been through the washing machine twice and lived to tell the tale. She relays to Abbey exactly what she needs to do to save her phone.
The next day – today – Abbey calls me to tell me about her phone and have me drag her to the T-Mobile store to get a replacement phone.

We wait in line behind a gentleman with his seven year old son.

Seven year old son is whining and pitching a hissy fit because he may not get the phone of his dreams after wrecking the one he has. Seven years old! Obnoxious to the extreme. Once the phone is in his hot little hands the whining begins anew “where are my piiiiicccctttuurres ….????” I refrain from slapping brat upside his head.

Now that we have reached the head of the line, the totally unhelpful and completely oblivious young man assures us that there is nothing that T-Mobile can do since we didn’t purchase insurance. Not even an el-cheapo temporary replacement until October when she’s due for an upgrade. He suggests, disinterestedly, that we go next door to Rite-Aid where we might purchase a trac-fone to put Abigail’s SIM card in as a temporary measure.

Does not note that just any old trac-fone will not do.

Argh.

Back home I google “wet cell phone repair.” 827,000 results. Big red flag for “salt water” damage.

Wiki notes: “If your phone falls in the ocean or another form of salt water, rinse it with fresh water before salt crystals can form in the phone after the removal of the battery.

If your phone has been subjected to salt water crystallizing, gently tap the board and the chips with a plastic object (the back of a small screw driver for example). The vibration of the taps will set some of the foreign objects free and they will fall out. Be careful and don’t smash the board or the chips. A sharp enough blow will break the chips. Tapping very gently multiple times in multiple locations, especially around the chips, is a preferred method. And follow up with appropriate solvent cleaning afterwards to clean away any oxidation residue.”

It looks like Abbey’s phone is a goner. Good news is that the SIM card is intact.

Instruct daughters that the next time a catastrophe occurs to always google first.

Heck, that is how I learned to bathe a cat. Not to mention brush his teeth. And bake the perfect strawberry rhubarb pie. Google never lets me down.